Insecure Girlfriend or Partner

In any relationship insecurity is bound to play a part and occasionally men find themselves with an insecure girlfriend or partner.  Insecurities within relationships typically stem from two area’s: they are subconsciously felt due to lesson learnt from past experiences or are caused comments from someone close to them.  Identifying why insecurities are caused can help in dealing with them. 

Subconsciously  

Everything we do is built on past experiences and what we learn from these experiences.  Some people drift through life and find themselves continuing to make the same mistakes over and over again, because they do not learn from these experiences.

We all have good and bad experiences from our childhood, teenage years and beyond.  Our Girlfriends or Partners may have insecurities from their childhood where they may have been treated badly, harassed or perceived themselves negatively.

A common insecurity felt by women is their body.  It is even common for women who look exceptional and still have these insecurities.  They may have concerns around their looks, shape, smell or dress size.

They may have concerns around perceived security within a relationship.  As relationships are forged from past experiences they may have been in a situation where a past partner has cheated on them, or they may have had a friend which has been in this situation.  So this may be something they are consistently concerned about.

In a work environment they may feel they are not appreciated, over looked or undervalued due to a perceived man’s club or just don’t feel they fit in.

Subconscious Insecurities can be difficult for a man to deal with as they don’t tend to be something women discuss with their partner openly.  This may because they do not realise they are actually experiencing these insecurities. 

Comments and Body Language 

The other main reason why you may have an insecure girlfriend or partner is because of something that they are told or in some cases not told.  Women tend to pay considerable attention to how men say things or their body language when they respond to their girlfriends or partners.

For instance the dreaded, does my bum look big in this or does this dress look nice on me.  This can never be answered correctly unless you answer with a question, how do you think your bum looks, or how do you feel in that dress?  If you stand there and look at them wondering how to respond, you have already made an insecure girlfriend or partner. 

Another example is looking across the road or briefly glancing at another woman.  All men do it, it is just that some are better at covering it or don’t get caught.  It is just a natural response and women do this as well.  If you are caught looking, it instantly makes them feel like they are being compared to the ‘competition’.  This may not be the case but it will instantly make her jealous resulting in her fell like an insecure girlfriend or partner and become defensive or distant.

Having our girlfriend read our body language may seem like an unfair advantage, but in most cases men really obviously give away their thoughts through body language.  Men also tend to find it difficult to find the right words in the right situation, which at times causes subconscious defence mechanisms in men.

An insecure girlfriend or partner is caused by many different situations and I have onlybriefly touched on a couple here.Follow on to Part Two in Dealing with an Insecure Girlfriend.

I highly recommend you get this 1000 Questions for Couples it is a great way to truly get to know your partner and overcome insecurities.

Men's Life and Support receives a commission for products sold through this site.