Sometimes, something goes so wrong in a relationship that it feels like nothing will ever be the same again. If this happens, all is not necessarily lost.
The fact that you want to save the relationship at all suggests that it’s probably something pretty special. Try to remember that and persuade your partner to sit down with you and talk about what has gone wrong.
Often a bad experience within a relationship can produce some very strong emotions – and explaining these to each other is often the first thing a couple needs on the road to saving a relationship. The process isn’t easy, but if you can agree with your partner to sit and talk rationally about what has changed then there is a good chance that your relationship might not be over. Here are some things to talk about:
Save yor Relationship with the Magic of Making Up Guide
What went wrong?
You may both have your own ideas about this – and both will be equally valid. The key is to listen to each other’s side of the story.
Who needs to apologise?
You both do. The fact is that saving a relationship is a two-way street. Whether you like it or not, you both have something to apologise for and apologising to your partner for what they think you might have done is a good way of putting the past behind you.
How has the trust changed?
You probably feel differently about each other than you used to, and the trust that was once there may have reduced or been completely removed. You need to work out how much you still trust each other, because that will guide you in rebuilding your relationship.
What was good before?
You should work together to make a list of the things that you liked about the relationship. It’ll remind you what you’re working for.
What can we keep from the “old relationship”?
The list you made of the good parts of the relationship will be full of things that you can still have together. Some of the other things won’t return until the trust has been rebuilt between you.
Where are the boundaries now?
You will probably need to start your relationship afresh with some new rules that you can both agree on. Maybe you want to take the relationship back to how it was when you first started seeing each other and organise a “first date” to mark the start of a new stage in your relationship.
Can we trust each other again?
The answer is yes – you can trust each other again. Damaged trust must be rebuilt slowly though. Once you have agreed that you can trust each other a little bit, trust can grow and the relationship can heal.
Remember that the fact that you have both agreed to talk about saving a relationship means that you both care about the relationship a great deal. The thing about relationships is that they can be saved as long as both parties want to be able to save them. Things won’t be the same, but learning how to work through difficult times can actually make couples stronger in the long run.
Check out the Magic of Making Up, it is a great guide to help you in saving your relationship.
